Talking heads

I’ve never liked the sound of my voice. I don’t think that’s particular to trans people, but voice dysphoria turns a “sort of dislike” into its own special kind of misery. And, of course, now that I’m unpacking the gender box (worst present ever btw), I have a job that requires me to speak on the phone for roughly half of my shift. I’ve tried speaking in a lower register but that requires so much focus that I forget what people are saying, and that’s just not going to work. 

I can’t ask not to be on phones, since that’s just an unfortunate part of the job description. I’m keeping my eyes open for job openings on other teams that don’t have phone interaction. I mean, I’ve been working customer service in some capacity or another for half of my life now. I wouldn’t mind not dealing with people at all. 

My voice is naturally high enough that there’s not much I can do to lower it without either taking hormones or getting a vocal coach (is that what you call it?). I have a feeling that I’d probably end up needing both. I’ve often wondered why guys who transition younger (like early 20s or younger) tend to have such deeper voices than guys who transition over 30. Now that I think about it some more, I wonder if it’s that people are over 30 are more fixed in using their voices in a particular way, not that their vocal cords don’t lengthen out. I have no proof of this, of course.